San Francisco

Dear Srila Prabhupada,

"Like the sun, your goodness can travel in the three worlds, and like the air, you can penetrate the internal region of everyone. As such, you are as good as the all-pervasive Supersoul. Please, therefore, find out the deficiency in me, despite my being absorbed in transcendence under disciplinary regulations and vows." (Bhag. 1.5.7)

Although born in a well-to-do family, having all material goods I could ever desire, and having been given a healthy body, still I was never satisfied until I made contact with Your Divine Grace. You have revealed the shortcomings in me that left me always unsatisfied, in spite of all material boons. By your words, you have slashed all the illusion of this world from my mind and forced me to accept that I am not the supreme proprietor, the supreme enjoyer or the supreme friend of all living entities. Rather, I am but an insignificant pawn of the energy of Krsna, God, and I am unhappy because I steadfastly refuse to apply this knowledge to my every action.

In Bhagavad-gita, it is stated that every action performed for personal sense gratification binds the performer to this material world. Unfortunately, I am so nonsensical that, although I hear your teachings, I repeatedly disregard your mercy. Thus, being so full of desire for personal name and fame, I suffer again and again. My only hope is that you will patiently tolerate my billions of offenses at your feet. Someday, I hope, you will so severely chastise me that I will be coerced into acting in full Krsna consciousness.

Srila Prabhupada, I have such doubt in my ability to come to that point of unalloyed surrender unto your divine feet, but I have faith that, by your mercy and desire only, I may someday be saved. This faith in you is my sole reason for existing; without you, I would immediately die. Please engage me in your service of Lord Caitanya's tree.

We were fools in the darkness, but you gave us the holy name, which shines like the rising sun. You gave us the light of mercy to see that we are the menial servants of a branch of Lord Gaurahga's golden tree.

We were dead men, but only by your divine grace can we now dance and chant in ecstasy, filling our hearts with nectar from your lotus lips, which infite us to serve and be a golden branch of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's sahkirtana movement tree.

Every early morning, we rise with the holy name in our ears and hearts. There is nothing else to be had in all three worlds. Then we bathe, and we prepare ourselves to see the holy eternal forms of Their Lordships Sri Radha-Gokula-nanda, to clean Their temple and to honor Their prasada.

It is only by your ocean of divine mercy that we are allowed the chance to be eternal servants of a branch of Lord Sri Gaurasundara's shimmering golden tree. There is no way for us to repay. We can only be for more service, so that we will be fully engaged in spreading this mercy of love of Godhead, flooding this planet over by your divine will. What more can we ask? Except that, by your grace, please, please help us to be more serious and sincere, and help us "desire to desire" to get a higher taste for Lord Sri Krsna's holy name and service to Lord Caitanya's universal tree.

Bhakta dasa adhikar / Saranama-devi dasi / Bahulasva dasa adhikar / Karunamayi-devi dasi / Lahkesa dasa adhikari / Dhanistha-devi dasi / Yudamanya dasa adhikari / Jivana-devi dasi / Maharaja dasa adhikari / Viharini-devi dasi / Jiva dasa adhikari / Manini-devi dasi / Makhana Taskara dasa adhikari / Kamatavi-devi dasi / Vaikunthanatha dasa adhikari / Saraḍiya-devi dasi / Lokanatha dasa adhikari / Vrajasundari-devi dasi / Tapana Misra dasa adhikari / Atmamaya-devi dasi / Krsna dasa adhikari / Kaumudi-devi dasi / Suklambhara dasa adhikari / Kelilalita-devi dasi / Varna dasa adhikari / Lila-smaranam-devi dasi / Jayananda dasa brahmacari / Madanasini-devi dasi / Hanumatpreseka dasa brahmacari / Kalpalatika-devi dasi / Krta-karma dasa brahmacari / Bhaktin Diane / Lokasarahga dasa brahmacari / Bhaktin Darlene / Haripada dasa brahmacari / Bhaktin Janet / Raksana dasa brahmacari / Bala dasa brahmacari / Indranatha dasa brahmacari / Nagaraja dasa brahmacari / Pravacara dasa brahmacari / Vigitatma dasa brahmacari / Parvata Muni dasa brahmacari / Bhokta dasa brahmacari / Buddhi Mahesvara dasa brahmacari / Bhakta Ray / Bhakta Chris / Bhakta Paulley / Bhakta Ed / Bhakta Doug / Bhakta John / Bhakta Joe / Bhakta Tom

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