kvacit sakrd avagata-visaya-vaitathyah svayam parabhidhyanena vibhramsita-smrtis tayaiva marici-toya-prayams tan evabhidhavati.
kvacit—sometimes; sakrt—once; avagata-visaya-vaitathyah—becoming conscious of the uselessness of enjoying material sense gratification; svayam—himself; para-abhidhyanena—by the bodily concept of the self; vibhramsita—destroyed; smrtih—whose remembrance; taya—by that; eva—certainly; marici-toya—water in a mirage; prayan—similar to; tan—those sense objects; eva—certainly; abhidhavati—runs after.
The conditioned soul sometimes personally appreciates the futility of sense enjoyment in the material world, and he sometimes considers material enjoyment to be full of miseries. However, due to his strong bodily conception, his memory is destroyed, and again and again he runs after material enjoyment, just as an animal runs after a mirage in the desert.
The main disease in material life is the bodily conception. Being baffled again and again in material activity, the conditioned soul temporarily thinks of the futility of material enjoyment, but he again tries the same thing. By the association of devotees, a person may become convinced of the material futility, but he cannot give up his engagement, although he is very eager to return home, back to Godhead. Under these circumstances, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, who is situated in everyone’s heart, compassionately takes away all the material possessions of such a devotee. As stated in Srimad-Bhagavatam (10.88.8): yasyaham anugrhnami harisye tad-dhanam sanaih. Lord Krsna says that He takes everything away from the devotee whom He especially favors when that devotee is overly attached to material possessions. When everything is taken away, the devotee feels helpless and frustrated in society, friendship and love. He feels that his family does not care for him any longer, and he therefore completely surrenders unto the lotus feet of the Supreme Lord. This is a special favor granted by the Lord to a devotee who cannot fully surrender to the Lord due to a strong bodily conception. As explained in Caitanya-caritamrta (Madhya 22.39): ami—vijna, ei murkhe ‘visaya’ kene diba. The Lord understands the devotee who hesitates to engage in the Lord’s service, not knowing whether he should again try to revive his material life. After repeated attempts and failures, he fully surrenders to the lotus feet of the Lord. The Lord then gives him directions, and, attaining happiness, he forgets all material engagement.
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