TEXT 152
yasyotsanga-sukhasaya sithilita gurvi gurubhyas trapa
pranebhyo 'pi suhrt-tamah sakhi tatha yuyam pariklesitah
dharmah so 'pi mahan maya na ganitah sadhvibhir adhyasito
dhig dhairyam tad-upeksitapi yad aham jivami papiyasi
yasyaof whom; utsanga-sukha-asayaby the desire for the happiness of the association; sithilitaslackened; gurvivery great; gurubhyahunto the superiors; trapabashfulness; pranebhyahthan My life; apialthough; suhrt-tamahmore dear; sakhiO My dear friend; tathasimilarly; yuyamyou; pariklesitahso much troubled; dharmahduties to My husband; sahthat; apialso; mahanvery great; mayaby Me; nanot; ganitahcared for; sadhvibhihby the most chaste women; adhyasitahpracticed; dhik dhairyamto hell with patience; tatby Him; upeksitaneglected; apialthough; yatwhich; ahamI; jivamiam living; papiyasithe most sinful.
'Desiring the happiness of His association and embraces, My dear friend, I disregarded even My superiors and relaxed My shyness and gravity before them. Furthermore, although you are My best friend, more dear to Me than My own life, I have given you so much trouble. Indeed, I even put aside the vow of dedication to My husband, a vow kept by the most elevated women. Oh, alas! Although He is now neglecting Me, I am so sinful that I am still living. Therefore I must condemn My so-called patience.'
Srimati Radharani is speaking this verse (Vidagdha-madhava 2.41) to Her intimate friend Visakhadevi.

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