Antya 1.152

TEXT 152

TEXT

যস্যোৎসঙ্গসুখাশয়া শিথিলিতা গুর্বী গুরুভ্যস্ত্রপা প্রাণেভ্যোঽপি সুহৃত্তমাঃ সখি তথা যূয়ং পরিক্লেশিতাঃ ।
ধর্মঃ সোঽপি মহান্ময়া ন গণিতঃ সাধ্বীভিরধ্যাসিতো ধিগ্ধৈর্যং তদুপেক্ষিতাপি যদহং জীবামি পাপীয়সী ॥ ১৫২ ॥

yasyotsaṅga-sukhasaya sithilita gurvi gurubhyas trapa

pranebhyo 'pi suhrt-tamah sakhi tatha yuyam pariklesitah

dharmah so 'pi mahan maya na ganitah sadhvibhir adhyasito

dhig dhairyam tad-upeksitapi yad aham jivami papiyasi

SYNONYMS

yasya-of whom; utsaṅga-sukha-asaya-by the desire for the happiness of the association; sithilita-slackened; gurvi-very great; gurubhyah-unto the superiors; trapa-bashfulness; pranebhyah-than My life; api-although; suhrt-tamah-more dear; sakhi-O My dear friend; tatha-similarly; yuyam-you; pariklesitah-so much troubled; dharmah-duties to My husband; sah-that; api-also; mahan-very great; maya-by Me; na-not; ganitah-cared for; sadhvibhih-by the most chaste women; adhyasitah-practiced; dhik dhairyam-to hell with patience; tat-by Him; upeksita-neglected; api-although; yat-which; aham-I; jivami-am living; papiyasi-the most sinful.

TRANSLATION

" 'Desiring the happiness of His association and embraces, My dear friend, I disregarded even My superiors and relaxed My shyness and gravity before them. Furthermore, although you are My best friend, more dear to Me than My own life, I have given you so much trouble. Indeed, I even put aside the vow of dedication to My husband, a vow kept by the most elevated women. Oh, alas! Although He is now neglecting Me, I am so sinful that I am still living. Therefore I must condemn My so-called patience.'

PURPORT

Srimati Radharani is speaking this verse (Vidagdha-madhava 2.41) to Her intimate friend Visakhadevi.

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