Atreya Ṛṣi dāsa adhikārī, GBC, Middle East, Financial Affairs.

I remember you in your association. I remember you in your pictures. I remember you in your smile or anger. I remember you dancing, chanting or crying. But most of all, my beloved master, I remember you in me. You are what I am: you are forming my new desires, my new intelligence and my new actions.

It is your words, Prabhupada, that have saved me. The more I listen to them, the freer I become. In the dark jungle I have lived all my life. Your words have led to your radiating, walking shoes. Lost I have been for thousands and thousands of years. And all of a sudden, through your words, I discover these beautiful shiny soft shoes. Attracting me in the beginning because they glitter, they enchant me because they dance . … up and down, to and fro. Then, they appear before me, close to me, and humbly invite me to follow. I love these shoes of yours, Prabhupada. I am still in the dark world: I don't appreciate you for what you really are-the friend of the gopis, etc. I love you because of these shoes, because they are taking me out of this scary dark jungle. They are beautiful because I have to search no more. I love them because they give me relief. I remember how much I used to run and used to get very bruised. That is how I developed this thick skin, wounds on top of hardly healed wounds. The holes in the ground, the trees, the animals, all those scary things. No more! I have found these two lovely shiny shoes: they are taking me out. I have to worry no more. Every step I know exactly where to put. Walking is so easy in this dense forest-no more risks to take. Your words have proven and have convinced me that I will fall no more, as long as I follow those shoes. And it is such a relief, a happy joyous walk, knowing where to step next and having your words as a guide.

Guruji, you see how selfish I am. You tell me, "All right son, remain selfish, but tend your real self-interest." As I hear you say this over and over to me, all of a sudden I start to hear you: I start to believe you. I don't care, Guruji, for Lord Brahma, who is in charge of such a wonderful creation. I don't care for all the great demigods.

I don't care for all the magicians around. The ones who walk on the water or fly in the sky. The ones who can go to the moon or make a heart melt on fire. What have they done for me? Nothing! Nothing! They simply made me more and more blind. But your shoes are different. They are my personal magician. They shine into my life. They melt my heart.

I am still in the darkness of ignorance. But lucky I am, I have your shoes. They run in front of me, and they stop and wait for me, and sometimes they dance for me. And in very rare instances, when I let them, they come and sit on my head.

Guru, I have found life. Life is simply my heart beating by your words, for your words. A new taste, a new world. Anything which negates your words is dead. I am far, far away from the ocean, but through your words I have come to believe that it exists. Reality has become your words for me. Because I am poisoned, near you I cannot come. I am not ready. I can't hear your words when I am near you. I can't see your shoes. I am so envious, I become deaf and blind. So let me be with your words and shoes.

Atreya Rsi dasa adhikari, GBC, Middle East, Financial Affairs.