CD 8-3

I am an impious sinner and have caused others great anxiety

(1)

amara jivana, sada pape rata,
nahiko punyera lesa
parere udvega, diyachi ye koto,
diyachi jivere klesa

[I am an impious sinner and have caused others great anxiety and trouble.]

(2)

nija sukha lagi', pape nahi dori,
daya-hina svartha-paro
para-sukhe duhkhi, sada mithya-bhasi,
para-duhkha sukha-karo

[I have never hesitated to perform sinful acts for my own enjoyment. Devoid of all compassion, concerned only with my own selfish interests, I am remorseful seeing others happy. I am a perpetual liar, and the misery of others is a source of great pleasure for me.]

(3)

asesa kamana, hrdi majhe mora,
krodhi, dambha-parayana
mada-matta sada, visaye mohita,
himsa-garva vibhusana

[The material desires within the core of my heart are unlimited. I am wrathful, devoted to false pride and arrogance, intoxicated by vanity, and bewildered by worldly affairs. Envy and egotism are the ornaments I wear.]

(4)

nidralasya hata, sukarye virata,
akarye udyogi ami
pratistha lagiya, sathya-acarana,
lobha-hata sada kami

[Ruined by laziness and sleep, I resist all pious deeds; yet I am very active and enthusiastic to perform wicked acts. For worldly fame and reputation I engage in the practice of deceitfulness. Thus I am destroyed by my own greed and am always lustful.]

(5)

e heno durjana, saj-jana-varjita,
aparadhi nirantara
subha-karya-sunya, sadanartha-manah,
nana duhkhe jara jara

[A vile, wicked man such as this, rejected by godly people, is a constant offender. I am such a person, devoid of all good works, forever inclined toward evil, worn out and wasted by various miseries.]

(6)

bardhakye ekhona, upaya-vihina,
ta'te dina akincana
bhakativinoda, prabhura carane,
kore duhkha nivedana

[Now in old age, deprived of all means of success, humbled and poor, Bhaktivinoda submits his tale of grief at the feet of the Supreme Lord.]

[10:47]