Rūpānuga dāsa Gosvāmī

My dear Srila Prabhupada,

Please accept my most humble danḍavats. In Your Divine Grace's garden in Los Angeles, I was seated amongst a few disciples at your lotus feet ("the disciple learns love from the spiritual master"). We were softly chanting japa, waiting for you to speak something (revelation). The joyful sound of kirtana was coming from the temple room, and you said (by your causeless mercy), Was it you, Gargamuni? Or was it someone else who asked me if these kirtanas were disturbing me in the garden? "You laughed beautifully, raising your eyebrows high, and said, "It is Vaikuntha!" At that very moment the sound from the Temple poured out the side entrance door, down the path and up through the garden gate, enveloping us all in a tangible ocean of nectar. Completely immersed, the hairs on my miserable body standing on end, I continued softly chanting japa that was nectar into the nectar air. Part of me, all too sure of my polluted condition, waited for the end of this endless moment that would never be lost ("all varieties of rasas or mellows turn into eternity"). The evening rays of pale, yellow-gold sunlight, slanting overhead into the trees beyond the garden wall, were emanating from Lord Krsna's body, and He felt very near, as if behind the far garden wall (acintya-bhedabheda-tattva).

Everything is revealed in the river of nectar flowing from your lotus lips (the Absolute Truth). We can see only the adhibhautika persons and the endless permutations of material energy as they appear on our eyeballs. We cannot even see one another, glowing with the light of a thousand suns. Only the illusory energy do we see, hiding ourselves as eternal spirit-souls. And, as the clouds passing near the full moon makes the moon appear to be moving, but only the cloud is doing the moving ("you must regard everything philosophically"), similarly, we cannot see the real form of Your Divine Grace before us. Yet, by the sound of your voice as recorded in your wonderful books (uttama-sloka), we can see by the light of higher intelligence, so that this material world at last has value in service to Krsna ("rte rtham yat pratiyeta, na pratiyeta catmani", SB 2.9.34).

Now I pray to surrender, renouncing the false role of overload and controller, and I beg, in the face of overlord and controller, and I beg, in the face of numberless immediate personal discrepancies, to somehow be retained in Your Divine Grace's exalted service. I pray this finds you increasingly enthused by good news from all over the growing ISKCON world.

Your most fallen disciple,
Rūpanuga dasa Gosvami
G.B.C.-Eastern United States.