Please accept my blessings. I have received your letter undated and noted the contents. You should not feel that it is impossible for you to surrender to Krsna or that you are not a devotee. You are already a devotee, that is clear from your statements. Of course an advanced devotee feels sometimes hopelessness, just like Caitanya Mahaprabhu prayed: "O my Lord out of kindness You enable us to easily approach You by Your Holy Names, but I am so unfortunate that I have no attraction for them.''

However in the neophyte stage it is best to develop firm faith, that just by chanting the Hare Krishna Mahamantra everything else will come, and try to avoid the ten offenses. So please continue to chant 16 rounds daily and follow carefully the four rules and regulations, and Krsna will help you more and more.

I hope that this meets you in good health.