Girirāja dāsa Brahmacārī

Dearest Guru Maharaj,

Please accept my most prostrated obeisances at your transcendental lotus feet time and time and time again. You have so kindly given me the opportunity on this most auspicious day-that of your appearance-to write this pitifully inadequate appreciation of your unlimited mercy. All glories, all glories to you. I am so very much indebted to you, for if it weren't for your causeless mercy, I wouldn't have come to Srila Prabhupada, my beloved spiritual master, or have known at all who is Krsna. Nor would I have had the strength to stay in Krsna consciousness. You are my guardian, my grandfather, and I know that you are always looking after me. I am so very fallen, but still you are always there to help me. You are always so mercifully answering my prayers.

I remember the eve of my initiation; my body was ill and I couldn't rest-doubting that initiation was the right thing. And so I was chanting Hare Krsna vigorously, praying to someone to please help me over this dilemma. And though I didn't know you (but had just once seen your picture), still I could feel your presence that night so strongly, and I know it was you who was guiding me.

After initiation, for some months I was still suffering from that most disgusting infection: impersonalism, and from within I knew that if I just prayed to you to give me strength to forget my past life I would see the form of Krsna as the Supreme Absolute Truth. And to this day I am still praying to you every evening: Your Divine Grace, please don't let me fall down, but help me to surrender myself cent percent at the lotus feet of your spiritual son, Srila Prabhupada. And just looking at your picture, your erect unflinching posture, gives me all the strength I need to battle any impersonal calamities.

When I became agitated in mind due to sex impulse, again I prayed to you, the most perfect Brahmacari, for strength not to give in to bodily impulses, but instead fix my mind on the form of the Lord. Again you gave me sufficient strength. Whenever I have been very much distressed I have turned to you through prayer, and I know you are always with me and guiding me back home, back to Godhead. Eternally your most unworthy servant,