Audio

Prabhupada: ...depend on you. For me, wherever I am kept, I shall remain. This is the position.

Tamala Krsna: What, Srila Prabhupada? Wherever you are kept?

Prabhupada: Wherever you kept, keep, I shall remain. The institution depends on the GBC.

Tamala Krsna: Yes. I think that the time that you always were looking forward to-of the GBC managing things-has come, and that if you can survive, then you can simply be free to translate...

Prabhupada: Yes.

Tamala Krsna: ...chant.

Prabhupada: If I am sane, then I'll do. But in this condition... Ah, ha... Hmm. What is to be done now?

Tamala Krsna: What is to be done now? In regard to that Trust?

Prabhupada: No, Trust or whatever. I have freed myself from everything.

Tamala Krsna: In regard to what were you asking?

Prabhupada: In this condition.

Tamala Krsna: Well, what we have to do is carry on with this medicine, medical treatment, and let the kaviraja come. Then, when he comes from Calcutta, he'll review everything that's happened and he'll see what your condition is like. And if he feels that the liver and kidney have been cleared up a little bit, then he'll begin to give medicine for giving you strength. And we will make him stay here until you get sufficient strength. And if you do get sufficient strength, which means his medicine is working, then he can take you to Mayapur.

And after some days, if he gives you medicine for strength and you don't get any strength, then there's no reason to leave Vrndavana. He may go back, but we will stay here. I think that should be our course of action. We certainly... I've looked just now with Upendra, and pretty much, you've increased by about double what you drink, and you've increased by about double the amount of urine. So... But that's not going to give you strength very much. And the kaviraja has also said that he's not giving any medicine for giving strength at this time.

Mostly he's giving medicine which should help the kidney and liver. I can't see inside your body to know if your kidney and liver are better. That he has to say. And if he says that it is getting better, then he can give the medicine for giving strength. And that's something that we can notice. Once he gives the medicine for strength, we'll be able to see if you're actually getting strength. After five or six days, if you're not getting any strength, then we'll know that the medicine is not effective.

If it is effective, then we can go with him. You'll have more strength and we can go to Mayapur. He can take us there and we'll carry on. And if for some reason it's not effective, then we have to trust simply in krsna-nama. That we're doing anyway, but that's... We'll have to do exclusively at that point.

Prabhupada: Hmm. Get on...

Tamala Krsna: Does that sound right, Srila Prabhupada?

Prabhupada: There is no alternative.

Tamala Krsna: Right. There's no alternative. There's no question of going to any more kavirajas. This is the last one. He's the best we've found, and if his medicine doesn't work, then let us simply depend on Krsna.

Bhavananda: That was fifty and clear, Srila Prabhupada. Fifty and clear.

Prabhupada: Bhavananda, you are not feeling well?

Bhavananda: No, now I'm feeling better, Srila Prabhupada.

Tamala Krsna: We're all praying to take some disease from you. We're all praying to take over your disease onto us.

Prabhupada: That is not desirable.

Tamala Krsna: Not desirable?

Prabhupada: [laughs] If you all become diseased...

Tamala Krsna: Yes, but you single-handedly can spread this movement better than all of us together.

Prabhupada: That is the problem. You are all become stationed to me.[?] Who will work?

Jayadvaita: At least this disease of Krsna consciousness is very infectious. Everyone catches it from you, Srila Prabhupada. They can't find any medicine to stop it. It just keeps going on more and more.

Tamala Krsna: They call it epidemic. [break] ...dream last night that you were eating all kinds of nice fruits.

Prabhupada: What is that sound?

Tamala Krsna: That's one of the brahmacaris shaking out the dust in the rugs. In my office we have some rugs, so he takes them outside and shakes them. He's a nice brahmacari. Comes from... Young boy from the gurukula, from Mexico. Is it time to go on, Srila Prabhupada? [break] ...today. So I would meet him last night, and if he was to come this evening I wouldn't think that there would be any harm, that he could come this evening. I think it's not bad in that it sort of sometimes has an effect to encourage the patient if the doctor or kaviraja comes.

You know, it's encouraging. It's reassuring. So I think it's nice that he comes. There should be someone with a little bit of knowledge who we can consult each day. He may not be as expert as the Calcutta kaviraja. Still, he is more expert than we are. And he was appointed by the Calcutta kaviraja to come and check up on you and see how you are doing, see if there were any side effects. The real question is that your kidney and liver should be getting better. There's no doubt that you're getting weaker now. That I can see. I've never seen you this weak. But according to the...

Prabhupada: Very weak.

Tamala Krsna: Very weak, yeah.

Prabhupada: I sit up, oh, everything...

Tamala Krsna: Finished. No, I could see that when you were sitting up, everything was becoming dislocated, everything. You can't sit up very much, neither you should sit up, Srila Prabhupada, very much. But I would recommend you to sit up when you have to drink only. This bathing we could do at other times. This drinking..., unless you sit up, you won't drink. I've seen that. You don't drink hardly anything. Unless you're willing to let us... See, the trouble is that when you lay down and drink, you're used to drinking just a little bit. So if you'll allow us to give you the same amount that you drink when you sit up, then there's no problem.

Prabhupada: How you can?

Tamala Krsna: How much?

Prabhupada: How you can?

Tamala Krsna: Well, just like when you sit up... It's naturally, when someone sits up, it's easier to drink. Laying down, it's more difficult. But still, you require the nourishment. You shouldn't decrease your drinking because you can't sit up. It just means you have to be willing to drink the same amount, but drink it while you're laying down.

Bhavananda: Which will take some longer time.

Tamala Krsna: Yes, it's a little more difficult. But it's not that you can't drink; it's just that it takes longer. So if that's all right with you, then we won't even request you to sit up when it's time to give you something to drink. Would that be all right? Okay.

Bhakti-caru: Can I give you some barley milk, Srila Prabhupada, now?

Prabhupada: Now acceptable.

Bhakti-caru: Srila Prabhupada? [Prabhupada drinks]

Tamala Krsna: Jaya Srila Prabhupada. How many cc's is that, Bhakti-caru?

Bhakti-caru: It's about fifty..., forty.

Tamala Krsna: Forty. So give Prabhupada two more of those. Actually, usually you drink about 200 cc's of barley milk, and you've just drank about 50.

Bhakti-caru: Srila Prabhupada?

Prabhupada: No more.

Bhavananda: You can wait a few minutes, Srila Prabhupada, and then, when you're feeling able to, you can take a little more. There's no rushing.

Tamala Krsna: He's not going to... Srila Prabhupada, what is the trouble to take more now? It's a botheration? But that's... I mean, it's required that you... I mean, if you don't... At least you should take the same amount you were taking when you were sitting up.

Prabhupada: I cannot.

Tamala Krsna: It's difficult. This means you will stop practically getting any nourishment at all now. So then we should call the Calcutta kaviraja. Prabhupada's not being able to maintain his program. So we'll call the kaviraja from Calcutta, Srila Prabhupada, because now you are not able to keep to the program which he fixed up. And this other kaviraja, he can't do anything this difficult. Usually by this time you've drank about 400 cc's of liquid or more. Today you haven't even drank 100 cc's yet.

So in this way you will go back to about two or three weeks ago, when you were planning to depart. So that's a little premature, because we agreed that we will first go through with this program which the kaviraja has given. So now it seems like it's too difficult to do that, so we should call him so that he can...

Prabhupada: What is the use of calling him?

Tamala Krsna: What is the use of what?

Bhavananda: Calling him.

Tamala Krsna: The use of calling is that he... According to him... This is what I understood. He was not giving... The main problem you're feeling is that you have no strength. This is the sum and substance. There's no strength.

Prabhupada: So how he can give strength?

Tamala Krsna: How can he give strength? Just like makara-dhvaja is for giving strength.

Prabhupada: Makara-dhvaja was not giving strength.

Tamala Krsna: No, that was not makara-dhvaja. That kaviraja said it was not makara-dhvaja.

Bhavananda: And he also said that in your condition now you can't take makara-dhvaja.

Prabhupada: I cannot take anything. I feel comfort only lying down.

Bhakti-caru: You can take something lying down, Srila Prabhupada. Just a little...

Prabhupada: That I have taken.

Bhakti-caru: Yes. Then should we give you some more after half an hour? Then you have to take it more frequently then.

Bhavananda: [whispering] But he won't do that.

Prabhupada: That is not possible. [pause] This is comfortable.

Tamala Krsna: Yes, but this is not the road to recovery.

Prabhupada: But what can I do?

Tamala Krsna: No, we have to do something. We have to...

Prabhupada: Then that means... That means force me and give me trouble.

Tamala Krsna: No, that we won't do. But I'm suggesting that if we call the kaviraja in Calcutta, he can suggest some medicine which will give you strength. I mean, he has not given you any medicines which he claims will give you strength yet. At least we should give him an opportunity.

Svarupa Damodara: I think it's a good idea to call kaviraja from Calcutta.

Prabhupada: Hmm?

Bhavananda: We're all in agreement that the kaviraja should be called from Calcutta.

Prabhupada: What he'll do?

Bhavananda: Well, that's up to him to decide what to do. We don't know what he will do, but he has medicines which can give you strength. He wanted to wait some time before administering them. But now what would be the loss if he administered them to you now? If they're going to work five days from now, they'll work now. Let us try. There's no loss. And if you get strength, then all gain. The kaviraja said that the one great quality that you have in this sickness is your incredible willpower. If you lose your willpower, desire to remain here, then nothing will work. But he said that if you continue with this strong desire to remain, then it will be easy.

Prabhupada: That strong desire has now disappeared.

Tamala Krsna: Srila Prabhupada? One thing is that this kaviraja's medicine has never had any adverse effects. Everybody else's medicine has had some adverse effects except for his. And in fact, the thing which he said his medicine would do has been done. He said that his medicine would cause you to pass more urine, and that actually has happened. He did not say that the medicine he gave you would make you stronger at this time. So nothing has gone wrong by taking his medicine, and in fact, what he said would happen has happened. He said that after giving that, he would begin to give medicine for giving strength. So what is the harm if we call him and let him give the medicine which he says will give you strength? If it gives you strength, then welcome. And if it doesn't give you strength, then we're not any worse off than we are now. You are feeling hopeless; therefore it doesn't matter to you. But as we are hopeful still, therefore it matters very much to us. He is our last hope. We have to admit, if his medicine does not work, then we simply have to depend solely on Krsna.

Jayadvaita: Also, this kaviraja, he wants to render you some service. It's his desire that he be allowed to render some service to Your Divine Grace. He wants that opportunity.

Tamala Krsna: And he requested us that if such a time as this which now is happening were to come, we should immediately call him, that he would drop everything and come. So why should we not give him that chance to come, if we are still hopeful?

Prabhupada: You can. But I am...

Tamala Krsna: We know that you are hopeless, Srila Prabhupada, but as your disciples, it is our duty to remain hopeful, at least to the point where we should try this last kaviraja. We also accept that if this kaviraja is not successful, then finish with all kavirajas and medicines. [pause] Would you like to have some kirtana, Srila Prabhupada? [break] The kaviraja is here now. Kaviraji is here.

Prabhupada: How? The young kaviraja, oh.

Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. The quantity of urine is less. Because of that the swelling is more than yesterday.]

Tamala Krsna: Bhakti-caru and Satadhanya have gone to Mathura, Srila Prabhupada, to call the Shastriji from Calcutta.

Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. What is he saying? Shastriji is coming?]

Svarupa Damodara: [Transl. We are trying.]

Prabhupada: [Transl. Which one?]

Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. Your right hand. Little increased.]

Tamala Krsna: What did he say, Svarupa Damodara?

Svarupa Damodara: He said that it's a little increased, the heartbeat. There's a little increase in the pulse.

Tamala Krsna: The pulse has increased? That's good. Not decreased. It is stronger or weaker?

Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. Did you give medicine today?]

Svarupa Damodara: [Transl. Medicine?]

Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. Yes. This morning?]

Svarupa Damodara: Did they give medicine today?

Upendra: I don't think so. I don't know.

Tamala Krsna: Give him what?

Upendra: Did we give him medicine today so far?

Bhavananda: Yes.

Svarupa Damodara: [Transl. We gave him medicine this morning.]

Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. Which one?]

Svarupa Damodara: Which medicine?

Upendra: I don't know. Bhakti-caru never writes which one it is.

Bhavananda: That one that you boil up.

Upendra: Oh. What's it say? It's the one you boil, cook for some time. Maybe he knows... It's the one you cook for some time.

Bhavananda: Where is the prescription?

Svarupa Damodara: [Transl. This is the medicine we gave.]

Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. This one you gave. Alright.]

Svarupa Damodara: [Transl. When should we give the other one?]

Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. 12 o'clock you give and then 2 o'clock.]

Tamala Krsna: ...cannot drink very much liquid. And if he doesn't drink proper amount of liquid, then what will happen?

Svarupa Damodara: [Transl. The problem is that Prabhupada is weak now. Can he get some strength.]

Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. He is feeling weak because he had passed stool few times yesterday. Now I have reduced the dose.]

Svarupa Damodara: [Transl. Now we should give less.]

Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. Now give this medicine and it will take care of the problem.]

Svarupa Damodara: [Transl. Do you have any medicine that will give him strength?]

Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. Yes. Of these medicines, this one will give him strength.]

Svarupa Damodara: He's saying that among those medicine, first one or second one has some ingredients that give some little strength.

Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. Maharaja, Did you feel any discomfort yesterday? Did you get sleep?]

Svarupa Damodara: [Transl. Yesterday? Yesterday he slept.]

Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. He slept yesterday night?]

Svarupa Damodara: [Transl. Yes, at night from nine o'clock to two o'clock he slept.]

Svarupa Damodara: He's asking whether Prabhupada was asleep last night. Actually, Prabhupada rested very well from nine to two o'clock last night.

Tamala Krsna: He did?

Svarupa Damodara: Yes.

Tamala Krsna: The problem is weakness.

Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. So what is the difficulty now?]

Svarupa Damodara: [Transl. Weakness.]

Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. Did he take any juice this morning?]

Svarupa Damodara: [Transl. Juice? He took pomegranate juice, but very little.]

Prabhupada: [Transl. Don't feel like eating anything.]

Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. I see.]

Svarupa Damodara: Prabhupada said, "No appetite."

Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. Was there any pain in the stomach since yesterday? No.]

Tamala Krsna: Anyway, we called the kaviraja to come.

Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. Maharajaji, do you pass air?]

Prabhupada: [Transl. Little, little.]

Svarupa Damodara: He's asking whether Prabhupada passes air.

Upendra: Does he?

Svarupa Damodara: He said that "Little, little," Prabhupada says. [end]