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Prabhupada: ...depend on you. For me, wherever I am kept, I shall remain. This is the position.
Prabhupada: Wherever you kept, keep, I shall remain. The institution depends on the GBC.
Prabhupada: Yes.
Prabhupada: If I am sane, then I'll do. But in this condition... Ah, ha... Hmm. What is to be done now?
Prabhupada: No, Trust or whatever. I have freed myself from everything.
Prabhupada: In this condition.
Tamala Krsna: Well, what we have to do is carry on with this medicine, medical treatment, and let the kaviraja come. Then, when he comes from Calcutta, he'll review everything that's happened and he'll see what your condition is like. And if he feels that the liver and kidney have been cleared up a little bit, then he'll begin to give medicine for giving you strength. And we will make him stay here until you get sufficient strength. And if you do get sufficient strength, which means his medicine is working, then he can take you to Mayapur.
And after some days, if he gives you medicine for strength and you don't get any strength, then there's no reason to leave Vrndavana. He may go back, but we will stay here. I think that should be our course of action. We certainly... I've looked just now with Upendra, and pretty much, you've increased by about double what you drink, and you've increased by about double the amount of urine. So... But that's not going to give you strength very much. And the kaviraja has also said that he's not giving any medicine for giving strength at this time.
Mostly he's giving medicine which should help the kidney and liver. I can't see inside your body to know if your kidney and liver are better. That he has to say. And if he says that it is getting better, then he can give the medicine for giving strength. And that's something that we can notice. Once he gives the medicine for strength, we'll be able to see if you're actually getting strength. After five or six days, if you're not getting any strength, then we'll know that the medicine is not effective.
If it is effective, then we can go with him. You'll have more strength and we can go to Mayapur. He can take us there and we'll carry on. And if for some reason it's not effective, then we have to trust simply in krsna-nama. That we're doing anyway, but that's... We'll have to do exclusively at that point.
Prabhupada: Hmm. Get on...
Prabhupada: There is no alternative.
Bhavananda: That was fifty and clear, Srila Prabhupada. Fifty and clear.
Prabhupada: Bhavananda, you are not feeling well?
Bhavananda: No, now I'm feeling better, Srila Prabhupada.
Prabhupada: That is not desirable.
Prabhupada: [laughs] If you all become diseased...
Prabhupada: That is the problem. You are all become stationed to me.[?] Who will work?
Prabhupada: What is that sound?
Tamala Krsna: That's one of the brahmacaris shaking out the dust in the rugs. In my office we have some rugs, so he takes them outside and shakes them. He's a nice brahmacari. Comes from... Young boy from the gurukula, from Mexico. Is it time to go on, Srila Prabhupada? [break] ...today. So I would meet him last night, and if he was to come this evening I wouldn't think that there would be any harm, that he could come this evening. I think it's not bad in that it sort of sometimes has an effect to encourage the patient if the doctor or kaviraja comes.
You know, it's encouraging. It's reassuring. So I think it's nice that he comes. There should be someone with a little bit of knowledge who we can consult each day. He may not be as expert as the Calcutta kaviraja. Still, he is more expert than we are. And he was appointed by the Calcutta kaviraja to come and check up on you and see how you are doing, see if there were any side effects. The real question is that your kidney and liver should be getting better. There's no doubt that you're getting weaker now. That I can see. I've never seen you this weak. But according to the...
Prabhupada: Very weak.
Prabhupada: I sit up, oh, everything...
Tamala Krsna: Finished. No, I could see that when you were sitting up, everything was becoming dislocated, everything. You can't sit up very much, neither you should sit up, Srila Prabhupada, very much. But I would recommend you to sit up when you have to drink only. This bathing we could do at other times. This drinking..., unless you sit up, you won't drink. I've seen that. You don't drink hardly anything. Unless you're willing to let us... See, the trouble is that when you lay down and drink, you're used to drinking just a little bit. So if you'll allow us to give you the same amount that you drink when you sit up, then there's no problem.
Prabhupada: How you can?
Prabhupada: How you can?
Tamala Krsna: Well, just like when you sit up... It's naturally, when someone sits up, it's easier to drink. Laying down, it's more difficult. But still, you require the nourishment. You shouldn't decrease your drinking because you can't sit up. It just means you have to be willing to drink the same amount, but drink it while you're laying down.
Bhavananda: Which will take some longer time.
Prabhupada: Now acceptable.
Prabhupada: No more.
Bhavananda: You can wait a few minutes, Srila Prabhupada, and then, when you're feeling able to, you can take a little more. There's no rushing.
Prabhupada: I cannot.
Tamala Krsna: It's difficult. This means you will stop practically getting any nourishment at all now. So then we should call the Calcutta kaviraja. Prabhupada's not being able to maintain his program. So we'll call the kaviraja from Calcutta, Srila Prabhupada, because now you are not able to keep to the program which he fixed up. And this other kaviraja, he can't do anything this difficult. Usually by this time you've drank about 400 cc's of liquid or more. Today you haven't even drank 100 cc's yet.
So in this way you will go back to about two or three weeks ago, when you were planning to depart. So that's a little premature, because we agreed that we will first go through with this program which the kaviraja has given. So now it seems like it's too difficult to do that, so we should call him so that he can...
Prabhupada: What is the use of calling him?
Bhavananda: Calling him.
Prabhupada: So how he can give strength?
Bhavananda: And he also said that in your condition now you can't take makara-dhvaja.
Prabhupada: I cannot take anything. I feel comfort only lying down.
Prabhupada: That I have taken.
Bhavananda: [whispering] But he won't do that.
Prabhupada: That is not possible. [pause] This is comfortable.
Prabhupada: But what can I do?
Prabhupada: Then that means... That means force me and give me trouble.
Prabhupada: Hmm?
Bhavananda: We're all in agreement that the kaviraja should be called from Calcutta.
Prabhupada: What he'll do?
Bhavananda: Well, that's up to him to decide what to do. We don't know what he will do, but he has medicines which can give you strength. He wanted to wait some time before administering them. But now what would be the loss if he administered them to you now? If they're going to work five days from now, they'll work now. Let us try. There's no loss. And if you get strength, then all gain. The kaviraja said that the one great quality that you have in this sickness is your incredible willpower. If you lose your willpower, desire to remain here, then nothing will work. But he said that if you continue with this strong desire to remain, then it will be easy.
Prabhupada: That strong desire has now disappeared.
Tamala Krsna: Srila Prabhupada? One thing is that this kaviraja's medicine has never had any adverse effects. Everybody else's medicine has had some adverse effects except for his. And in fact, the thing which he said his medicine would do has been done. He said that his medicine would cause you to pass more urine, and that actually has happened. He did not say that the medicine he gave you would make you stronger at this time. So nothing has gone wrong by taking his medicine, and in fact, what he said would happen has happened. He said that after giving that, he would begin to give medicine for giving strength. So what is the harm if we call him and let him give the medicine which he says will give you strength? If it gives you strength, then welcome. And if it doesn't give you strength, then we're not any worse off than we are now. You are feeling hopeless; therefore it doesn't matter to you. But as we are hopeful still, therefore it matters very much to us. He is our last hope. We have to admit, if his medicine does not work, then we simply have to depend solely on Krsna.
Jayadvaita: Also, this kaviraja, he wants to render you some service. It's his desire that he be allowed to render some service to Your Divine Grace. He wants that opportunity.
Prabhupada: You can. But I am...
Tamala Krsna: We know that you are hopeless, Srila Prabhupada, but as your disciples, it is our duty to remain hopeful, at least to the point where we should try this last kaviraja. We also accept that if this kaviraja is not successful, then finish with all kavirajas and medicines. [pause] Would you like to have some kirtana, Srila Prabhupada? [break] The kaviraja is here now. Kaviraji is here.
Prabhupada: How? The young kaviraja, oh.
Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. The quantity of urine is less. Because of that the swelling is more than yesterday.]
Prabhupada: [Transl. Which one?]
Upendra: I don't think so. I don't know.
Upendra: Did we give him medicine today so far?
Bhavananda: Yes.
Bhavananda: That one that you boil up.
Upendra: Oh. What's it say? It's the one you boil, cook for some time. Maybe he knows... It's the one you cook for some time.
Bhavananda: Where is the prescription?
Kaviraja assistant: [Transl. He is feeling weak because he had passed stool few times yesterday. Now I have reduced the dose.]
Prabhupada: [Transl. Don't feel like eating anything.]
Prabhupada: [Transl. Little, little.]
Upendra: Does he?
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