so ’haṁ tad-darśanāhlāda-
gamiṣye dayitaṁ tasya
saḥ aham—thus myself; tat—His; darśana—audience; āhlāda—pleasure; viyoga—without that; ārti-yutaḥ—afflicted by distress; prabho—my dear sir; gamiṣye—shall go; dayitam—so instructed; tasya—His; badaryāśrama—Badarikāśrama, in the Himalayas; maṇḍalam—association.
My dear Vidura, now I am mad for want of the pleasure of seeing Him, and just to mitigate this I am now proceeding to Badarikāśrama in the Himalayas for association, as I have been instructed by Him.
A pure devotee of the Lord of the standard of Uddhava constantly associates with the Lord in the double perception of simultaneous separation and meeting. The pure devotee is not for a moment unengaged in the transcendental service of the Lord. Execution of the Lord’s service is the main occupation of the pure devotee. Uddhava’s separation from the Lord was unbearable, and therefore he started to Badarikāśrama in obedience to the Lord’s order because the order of the Lord and the Lord Himself are identical. As long as one is engaged in the execution of the order of the Lord, there is no factual separation from Him.
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